He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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