My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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