on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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