Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
