So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
