it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
