he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
