he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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