I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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