Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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