I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
