Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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