ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
