OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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