One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
