Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
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Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
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we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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