Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
