I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
