It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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