Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
