I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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