I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
