Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize