Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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