Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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