So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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