Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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