at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
