remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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