i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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