Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
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Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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