this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
