I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
too bad you live with your parents still
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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