great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
