i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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