so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
