is your mom at the bar?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
