Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
