can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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