I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
