There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
