I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
