We got so high we made milksteak
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
