Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I need moral support for this bender
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
