I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
