New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize