the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I want you more than these girls want KFC
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
