If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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