my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
