I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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