after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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