I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
