My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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