I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
