i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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