he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Are we still banned from the library?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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