So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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