All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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